I have decided I am currently morbidly fearful of entering the teaching profession. And I have realised why. I blame "energy drinks". V, Mother, Red Bull, and whatever other guarana pumped, sugar infested buzz-creating shit that come in cans.
Today as I left work some quote unquote 'youths' were hanging out the front - being pierced, loud and touchy-feely. For some reason certain adolescents can't get enough of hugging each other. Oops, I stepped on your foot. Hug. You are a mother-effer. Hug. I'll see you in 30 seconds after I just pop into this shop to purchase a can of V. Hug.
Anyway, they were all sharing this massive, 250% more, 80000mL can of Mother. I will tell you. These children already have the rampaging hormones of adolescence in their blood. They do NOT need any more help to be hyperactive. Having taught in classrooms, I can tell you that nearly anything can set off a hormone crazy spaz. Windy days are a classic example. For some reason, on a windy day, every child is crazy. I'm not being an old fogey here - I too remember not too many years ago having such spazzes and my own case of Jekyll/Hyde syndrome. My mum could ask me politely to pass the butter and it ended with a craze of "You're such a bitch, I hate you, you always tell me what to do, I wish I lived with my aunty."
And can i say, I was a perfectly lovely young girl. It's true! I got straight A's and did my homework and walked the dog and had friends who went to church and now I date the pastor's son. You know. Nice.
These children call each other mother-effer's every second word and they boast about how long they've had certain piercings. And the worst of it is, they drink MOTHER. They do not need this MOTHER! They drink these awful things before school, at recess and lunch. Sometimes they replace the mother with a can of Coca-cola. Sometimes they skip drinking and eating altogether. Either way, this Mother snatches away at the very precious sanity they are trying to hang on to as they battle hormones in their day to day life.
Please, please, do not sell them this stuff.
very small disclaimer: i appreciate these adolescents as individuals and wish to see them grow into their potential.
additionally: i wonder if they drink 'mother' to make up for the lack of love they receive from their own biological mothers. Or is that just taking it all too far?
